Tuesday, May 19, 2009
yay i'm posting daily. proud of myself:)
Hazel is trying to arrange for outing to bowling. but then, my mum doesn't like me to go out to shopping centres blablabla.... sometimes i just feel a bit too controlled..... haiz, what to do? if i offer my opinion, sure will end up onto a fight. XIAN. i'll try to make do. and she didn't want me to go out for lunch with Brenda and Venessa, xian la. i can't keep staying at home, right? i'm 15 already, i need a bit MORE time with my friends. it's not as if i keep on going out, it's only once in a while. furthermore, it's with the ex-BNers, now we're all split up, it's only natural that i want to get all the times we can spend together.... and then she complains about the class chalet, i aready told her, i need to be around if there's preps for the mini bazaar, i will miss the day if the others are going to WWW.... sometimes i really dunno what to do... i don't wanna quarrel and rebel but sometimes, i really need a bit more breathing room. right now, i'm suffocating, you understand???!!!! damn, i may look ok on the outside, but inside, i may be swirling with anger, it's just that i duon't wanna let loose..... i'm already trying to cope with my results, it hasn't been what i've been really expecting. i seriously don't need this kind of extra stress about stupid trivial matters, you dig? then if i emo, you will surely ask why my results like this, etc. maybe you're trying to solve my problem, but in actual fact, you're not helping me in any way emotionally. you're just making me more and more depressed. SCREWED. i really don't know what to do right now. SCREW EVERYTHING. my results, my life, EVERYTHING.
